My first night alone.
It really sucked. I was all alone in my bed. I had a hard time sleeping, because I got use to my baby being there. I guess I will get use to being alone again. I hate the fact that I dont know where he is or what he’s doing. When I woke up and started looking for him like nothing ever happened yesterday. I wanted my good morning kiss, and he was no where to be found. I started to tear up but then stopped because of the fact that I know he loves me and I know he will be calling to get me back. But it will be to late. I will be gone. If he comes to phoenix after me then I know things would change but idk if I can give him another chance. I love him with all my heart, and I always will but a girl has to know when enough is enough.
Broke up
With the boyfriend this morning. I just got tired of being treated like one of his homies and not his girlfriend. He always left me sitting at the house while he went out with his friends. He leaves first thing in the morning and I don’t see him all day. He always ignores my texts and I finally had it. I packed my shit and left. He asked me where I was going and I told him I was moving to phoenix (which I am) and he asked when, and I said today, he asked what time and I said does it matter? DOES IT REALLY FUCKING MATTER???! As I drove off he stared at me. I love him so much I just can’t handle the bullshit. I am moving out of town to get away from him and everything else. I was on the phone with my mom, and as soon as I get off the phone with her, he sends me a text saying I love you. And I replied, No you dont!
I randomly came across this video on Youtube, and I absolutely LOVEEEEEE it! This poem is beautiful. She is amazinggg!
(Source: xokiaraasiana)
“I always waited for someone to come along and take me away from the pain and mirsey in my life. I never thought YOU would add to it. But, I seem to be addicted to you like I’m addicted to the cigarettes I smoke, and the oxygen that I breathe.” -Me
It’s been almost 3 weeks!
My boyfriend refuses to have sex with me. Idk why, idk anything all he tells me is it’s not me. In the mornings when we wake up, he acts like he wants to, he gets a hard on, then turns over and faces the other direction. I don’t know how to take that. He tells me he’s not sleeping with anyone else. All he says is he doesn’t want/need to have sex. And it really hurts my feelings. We went from having sex all the time, to never having sex. So as a woman, I atuomaticly start to think either he’s cheating or he doesn’t find me attractive anymore.
When we have sex I fall in love with him all over again. HE makes me feel like I’m the only one that matters to him, and like he actually does love me. But lately, I don’t think either one. I don’t know what to do. I’ve tried sexy little outfits, I’m even tried starting off by giving him head. And still he pushes me away.. WHAT SHOULD I DO? Has anyone gone through this before?? Help?
I’m bored, and suggestions on what I should do?
ARG!
So, I had gotten a place with my brother back in Feb. And once my boyfriend and I got back together he kinda moved in without letting anyone know. lol. And now I got fired from my job and my boyfriend is going to school full-time thanks to the Army.
Last night I got into a fight with my brother because he tried fighting my boyfriend and kicked us both out. His fatass girlfriend told him that he should just kick both of us out because we’re not paying. My brother knew we were broke, and he knows I’ve been looking for a job. But for some reason he thought we would be able to give him, $662.00 by monday. He actually had his girlfriend print out a list of the bills and what not and give them to us. I looked at it, laughed, tore them up and threw them in her face. I don’t know who the fuck she thinks she is but she don’t wanna start anything with me.. I will finish it before she can even say, “No, stop!” BAM BAM! Out like a light. ahahaha.
So then, I called our mother, and informed her of the situation, and she called him. While Anthony (My boyfriend) and I got our things together I was trying to listen to what he was saying to our mom. Sounded to me like she was on his side. And so I got pissed off at my mom. You know what I could be pregnant and that shit last night was just uncalled for. Don’t come at me and my boyfriend like you own everything and like you gonna do something. Sorry to say (not really) but my brother would have got his ass beat if he tried fighting my BF! And that bitch might be fat but I would’ve knocked her ass out with one hit! Kinda funny when you think about it though, the two that can fight are together and the pussies are together. haha.. looks like a lose, lose for my brother anyways, now who is he gonna get money from to pay the bills.
GOOD MUTHA FUCKIN DAY!
“Saying ‘I Love you’
Is not the words I want to hear from you
It’s not that I want you not to say
But if you only knew
How easy it would be to show me how you feel”(More than words - Extreme)
UGH! I hate how when I want to spend time with the boyfriend in the mornings, the first thing he does is get on his xbox. And I get mad, and then he gets mad at me for getting mad at him. I know it makes no since, but it’s like he doesn’t want to spend time with me, like he rather play his damn game. I’ve even asked him if I could play with him, he says yeah, but it never happens. It’s really starting to piss me off!
I get it now.
He wants to do all that fun stuff, just not with me.
First test came out negitive. It still might be to soon to know, but I will take another test next week. On another note, the girl that tried saying she was pregnant with my mans baby, he says she’s not pregnant. We got into a bit of a tiff last night when I brought it up. I informed him that if she turns out to be pregnant with his kid and if I am to, I will have nothing to do with him, and he will have nothing to do with my child. He got a bit upset and I told him to go stay at his parents house for the night. He left, but then 10 minutes later returned. I really just wanted to be by myself, so I could think things trough. Because of the fact that I’m pretty damn sure I’m pregnant again. Been through all of this before, so I kinda know the signs. I wanted to think about if I really wanted to be with him or not, because lately things haven’t been good. We don’t do anything together, we don’t go out, the last time we went some where together was on the 4th of July, and it is now September. We use to have sex all the time, almost everyday. But now hardly ever. The last time we had sex was August 26th. And it was a quickie. He doesn’t look at me while having sex either. He doesn’t kiss me while having sex, he is changing and I don’t know why. I ask him if it’s me, and he says no. it just has to do with him and what he’s going through. But really what’s so bad that you can’t look you’re girlfriend in the eye and kiss her while having sex, why don’t you even want to have sex with me anymore. I want all these questions answered but he answer to everything is IDK! It really hurts me and I don’t know what to do or how to feel other than hurt, and ugly.
UGH!! Any advice on anything stated here?
Usually, the girls that are the hardest to love, are the ones that need it the most.
(Source: the-screams-of-a-nobody)
